Monday, November 18, 2024

The Gender War Nobody Asked For: Part 1 - Trump, Harris, 4B, and Your Body My Choice


In the wake of the 2024 U.S. presidential election, the nation finds itself grappling with an escalating divide between men and women, not just in the voting booth but across all facets of our society. The gender dynamic wounds exposed during this election have sparked a cultural reckoning, revealing deep-seated tensions that are reshaping how we relate to one another. As USA Today reported, men overwhelmingly threw their support behind Donald Trump, while women leaned toward Kamala Harris, highlighting a stark political and ideological gender gap. 

The lines have been drawn. 

This divide is more than just political; it’s cultural, personal, and systemic. Long-simmering divides have exploded with the popularization of radical ideas. Among women, the "4B" movement, a social phenomenon originating in South Korea, has gained traction in the United States. Advocating for "no dating, no sex, no marriage, and no childbirth," the movement reflects a growing disillusionment with “traditional” gender roles and a push for female autonomy. As Politico notes, many women see this as a rejection of patriarchal structures that no longer serve their interests, especially in the context of modern relationships. Women are taking the ball and going home. 

On the other hand, goofy counter-movements have emerged among men, expressing their frustrations with evolving gender norms. Slogans like the rapey "Your Body, My Choice", detailed by The Institute for Strategic Dialogue, represent a backlash against what some perceive as overreach in feminist progress. This "send women back to the kitchen" sentiment does absolutely nothing to solve the problem. This rhetoric underscores a sense of extreme marginalization felt by men and raises questions about how to reconcile these competing narratives. 

To summarize these absurd ideas - women, upset Donald Trump won, are going to stop engaging in relationships of all kinds with men. Men, upset that Harris courted women, are going to actively exert control of women. It's been a long time since I've stumbled upon hate-fueled dumbassery at this level. 

We've been going down this terrible path for the better part of two decades. Just when I think it can't get any worse, the situation escalates. Both men and women seem Hell-bent on trying to prove they're right instead of trying to find a way forward. Which brings us to...

The Purpose of This Series

This blog series aims to cut through the noise of the so-called "gender war" by offering a different perspective. This isn't a new idea; it's been the linchpin of my rants for the last decade. Instead of framing masculinity and femininity as opposing forces, we’ll explore their complementary nature and the ways they can work together to build fulfilling, stable relationships in a safe, stable, evolving society. Drawing on insights from psychology and evolutionary biology, as well as real-world cultural movements, this series seeks to illuminate how understanding these dynamics can alleviate gender-based relational tensions.

The stakes are high. As gender-based divisions deepen, they risk becoming a primary driver of the broader sociopolitical polarization tearing at the fabric of our society. This is a pivotal moment for us to redefine how men and women can coexist, not in opposition, but in harmony. Whether you’re a man feeling adrift in the changing tides of masculinity or a woman navigating new paradigms of empowerment, this series is for you. Together, we’ll explore how to build bridges, not walls, and turn tension into mutual respect.

Stay tuned for a journey that promises to challenge assumptions, spark conversations, and perhaps, help redefine what it means to connect in the modern world.


~ Jason


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Sunday, July 7, 2024

The New Ideas: A Brief Summary


 



After our last Presidential elections and the aftermath of the COVID pandemic, I made a conscious decision to unplug from the 24/7 news cycle and social media echo chamber. I surrounded myself with folks who had insulated themselves from the horrors of our modern day world, and it had a pretty profound positive effect on my psyche. 

As an experiment, about six months ago, I decided to see what I had been missing. I started watching the news networks. I started reading the news stories that the algorithyms of my social media feeds curated. I started frequenting popular social media communities. What I discovered was pretty damn terrible. 

 



I saw a world where our collective consciousness trembles under a brewing storm of dread, ignited by an extremist political climate on the brink of collapse. I saw polarization and erratic government decisions cast long, foreboding shadows over our lives, as economic uncertainty whispers fears of inflation, unemployment, and a grim financial future. I saw technology, once a beacon of progress, harbor sinister secrets of unchecked AI deepfakes, data breaches, and social media manipulation. I saw rising crime, terrorism, and unguarded borders erode our sense of safety and security. I saw the effects of deliberate misinformation that leaves us adrift in a sea of deceit, struggling to discern truth from manipulative lies. I saw International tensions simmer, with the specter of war with China, Russia, and Iran haunting our thoughts. I saw a future fraught with uncertainty, defined by a fear that rapid societal changes will outpace our ability to adapt, leaving us stranded in a hostile, unforgiving landscape.



For men specifically, I saw our futures shrouded in anxiety and despair. Dominated by concerns about maintaining leadership and respect in relationships, we grappled with fears of emotional manipulation. The relentless pursuit of misguided self-improvement ensnared us in cycles of self-doubt. Attempting to understand seemingly unpredictable female behavior added to our frustration, while the brutal hierarchy of the online dating market drove a desperate attempt to get a sliver of attention. I saw rejection and flaking compound our despair, forcing us to emotionally detach to protect our self-esteem and well-being. The looming threat of relationship pressures threatened to destroy our romantic bonds, making long-term commitments seemed futile. 

Balancing career advancement with social and romantic life seemed impossible, further eroding mental health. Social isolation intensified as we desperately seeked out supportive networks of friends, but couldn't due to busy lives and divergent beliefs. I saw men attempting to navigate a society that promotes radical leftist values while still attemting to uphold some semblance of traditional masculine roles, which created an insurmountable tension, leaving men feeling lost and torn. In this grim reality, I saw hope wither under an unrelenting tide of anxiety and despair.



Amidst the dim outlook of modern American society, the future for women I saw was equally steeped in bleakness as fears solidify into harsh realities. The struggle to prioritize relationships while balancing marriage and friendships often leads to deep isolation and loneliness. I saw the pressure to maintain femininity violently clashes with societal expectations of "having it all", leaving many women feeling lost and conflicted. As the years pass, the media-driven fear of aging and losing physical attractiveness intensifies, threatening the stability of your relationships. I saw the relentless tug-of-war between career ambitions and family responsibilities stretching you thin, rendering you inadequate in both roles. 

Anxiety about finding a high-value partner mounts as the clock ticks, and unsuitable relationships with shitty men consume precious time. Internal battles over when and how to be submissive, amidst a backdrop of feminist influence, create unending tension. I saw concerns about raising children in a safe, secure family structure while balancing personal aspirations weigh heavily on women's minds. The constant pressure for self-improvement to meet the ideal partner's expectations fosters a perpetual sense of inadequacy. I saw women attemting to navigate a society that promotes fanatical ideas of gender equality while trying to uphold traditional roles leaving women feeling torn and despondent. I saw women who were deeply pessimistic about what tomoorow holds.

Based on what I saw, the future seems pretty damn dark for all of us. But it doesn't have to be.

The Power of Growth; the Power of Hope

A few years back, after checking out of the 24/7 news cycle and social media echo chambers, I discovered a powerful lesson that should have been self-evident: We create the world we live. And the key to creating that world is focusing on personal growth.

The original version of this project was constructed on the premise that we lived in a flawed world that needed fixing, and offered an effective solution. Our modern world is largely incompatible with the biological and psychological needs of masculinity. Sometimes even downright hostile. The ideas the project promoted were essentially a route to growing as a man. The solution was to simply implement the ideas and life gets better. 

Unforunately, the solution required constant application. Slack off and everything starts sliding into the shitter again. In other words, what the original project taught was not sustainable. This meant that the men who had followed the original program were exceptionally prone to a relapse of sorts. For a personal growth plan, that's not good.

The original program also didn't address women, at least not directly. It was explicitly designed for men in general, and a particular type of man in particular. This extremely narrow focus bothered me because it implied the solution wasn't really a solution. Rather, it was a more of a crutch. 

So I went back to the drawing board. I started from scratch. I played around with a lot of ideas, then tested them out. There was the Curvy Road Project, then The Lab. Both experimented with the idea of designing intentional communities, but both had the same fatal flaw as the Mn Camp project - sustainability

The Motivation to Find a Solution

The motivation behind this project was to create a community of like-minded individuals who share a vision of a better world. This endeavor was intended to foster a sense of belonging, where acceptance, friendship, and a family-like bond fulfill our deep-seated need for connection. The community would offer purpose and meaning, providing a clear mission that guided us toward a fulfilling and motivating future. In a world riddled with uncertainties, the community would offer protection and security, both physically and emotionally, which would create a stable and safe haven from the societal decay that threatened to envelop us.




The community would be a sanctuary for personal and collective fulfillment, offering deeper experiences and answers to existential questions. Here, members would find status and importance, recognition, and significance within the group and beyond. We'd provide unwavering support and guidance, helping each other navigate life’s challenges with wisdom and care. This would be a place to escape from the harsh realities of everyday life, offering an alternative world brimming with meaning, adventure, and excitement. Amidst chaos, we'd bring certainty and order, reducing anxiety and fostering a harmonious way of life.

Imagine a world where, despite the turmoil surrounding us, we'd each have the power to create our own island of hope and prosperity. Together, we have the power to build this better future, one filled with connection, purpose, enlightenment, and stability. This project is more than a vision; it's a promise that no matter how much the world falls apart, we have the strength to create a sanctuary of our own, a better world that begins with a better version of you and I.


That was my motivation to create this project.

The Inspiration

Rooted in Scott Barry Kaufman’s sailboat analogy from his phenomenal book “Transcend”, the prototype of this program is designed to address the foundational needs of security and growth, guiding us toward a balanced, fulfilling life. It's meant to give us direction and purpose in really shitty times.

This sailboat analogy serves as the cornerstone of the program. In this metaphor, the boat represents an individual’s need for security (the hull) and growth (the sail). Just as a sailboat requires both a sturdy hull to stay afloat and a sail to move forward, we require a strong foundation of security and opportunities for growth to navigate life’s journey effectively. This program uniquely integrates this analogy into a gender-specific program, recognizing the distinct needs and motivations of men and women.

The break-down of the needs looks like this:

Security Needs

The first part of the program focuses on establishing a secure foundation through lessons on physical health, personal safety, mental health, and self-defense.

  1. Physical Health:

    • Fitness Routines and Nutrition: The program covers basic fitness routines and nutritional guidelines to maintain physical health and prevent chronic diseases. Practical tips and meal plans help integrate healthy habits into our daily lives.
  2. Personal Safety:

    • Awareness and Strategies: Lessons include essential personal safety strategies and situational awareness, empowering individuals to protect themselves and build confidence.
  3. Mental Health:

    • Stress Management: We learn basic stress management techniques, including mindfulness and breathing exercises, to maintain mental and emotional health.
  4. Self-Defense:

    • Basic Techniques: Simple and effective self-defense moves are taught, enhancing our ability to protect themselves and boosting their confidence.

Growth Needs

Once a secure foundation is established, the program shifts focus to fostering growth through effective communication, building rapport, creating social bonds, and networking.

  1. Effective Communication:

    • Clarity and Active Listening: We learn the fundamentals of clear and concise communication, along with active listening techniques to foster understanding and reduce conflicts.
  2. Building Rapport:

    • Techniques for Connection: Lessons include finding common ground, showing genuine interest, and making a good first impression to build trust and establish meaningful connections.
  3. Creating Social Bonds:

    • Empathy and Understanding: Emphasis is placed on empathy, recognizing and validating others’ feelings, and overcoming social anxiety to create strong, supportive relationships.
  4. Networking Basics:

    • Building Support Networks: We learn the importance of social and professional networking, including strategies for effective networking and maintaining relationships.

Why this Program Works

This program effectively addresses the foundational needs of modern men and women by providing a comprehensive, gender-specific approach to personal growth. The program’s focus on security and growth ensures that we build a solid foundation while exploring opportunities for self-improvement. By integrating practical lessons with psychological insights, the program empowers individuals to overcome societal pressures, build meaningful connections, and achieve their full potential.

 


In today’s America, where many feel overwhelmed and disconnected, this program offers a transformative path to self-actualization. By addressing both security and growth needs, this program provides the tools and support necessary for individuals to navigate life’s challenges and thrive.

This plan offers a comprehensive solution to the myriad problems plaguing men and women in modern-day America. By focusing on foundational security needs—such as physical health, personal safety, mental well-being, and financial stability—the program creates a robust base that enables us to manage stress and uncertainty effectively. Once these essentials are secured, we emphasize growth needs, including building meaningful connections, achieving personal goals, and fostering self-actualization. This dual approach not only helps us stabilize our immediate environment but also encourages continual personal development and fulfillment. In a society marked by rapid change, economic volatility, and social isolation, this holistic methodology provides a much-needed antidote, empowering us to thrive amidst chaos and cultivate a life of purpose and resilience.

The n=1 Experimentation

 


For anyone who has followed my weird-ass adventures since the barefoot running days, you know I always test my ideas on myself before recommending them to others. My life is basically my own little "Skunk Works" division. As I alluded to earlier, I've been testing these ideas since our last presidential election cycle. However, the synthesis with Kaufman's ideas from "Transcend" are fairly new; I've only been implementing them for about a year, almost all of which has been done in private. This is kind of like "alpha testing" for those of you who are familiar with research and development. 

I've had enough personal success to start "beta testing", which means I'll start discussing the self-experimentation publicly. And start roping others, mainly Shelly (my wife), into testing some of the ideas, too. The goal is to hammer out the specific activities and exercises that will develop the habits that lead us on a simple path to continual positive growth across all six of Kaufman's domains. 

As I embark on this new chapter of growth and discovery, I extend an invitation to you. Join Shelly and I in this experiment of personal transformation. By embracing the principles of security and growth, we can create a community where each of us thrives amidst the chaos of modern life. Dive into this journey with us, share your experiences, and contribute to a movement that empowers us to shape our own realities. Let’s harness our collective strength to create a better world, starting with ourselves. The time for change is now!


~Jason



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Friday, July 5, 2024

The Flaws of the Old Ideology



The Man Camp Project has been a work in progress, in some form or another, for about twelve years. Over time, the ideas have expanded and have been refined. The ideas, as they've been represented on this particular blog, have been pretty effective. However, they haven't been perfect. 

In particular, the implementation of the ideas have left some significant gaps, such as...

  • Work-Life Balance
    • Issue: Many modern American men struggle to balance demanding careers with family and personal life.The Old Ideas certainly helped with romantic relationships, but didn't really address work-life balance beyond "Don't make women the center of your life." How do you balance a career and a relationship, or a career and a family? It's a tricky balancing act that isn't addressed in the Old Ideas.
  • Mental Health and Stress Management
    • Issue: High levels of stress, anxiety, and mental health issues are common among men today. While the Old Ideas included some stuff related to emotional intelligence and empathy, the curriculum lacks a focused approach on mental health awareness, stress management techniques, and access to mental health resources. Most of the Old Ideas addressed mental health through indirect prevention, which is incredibly effective... until it isn't. 
  • Career Transition and Job Market Adaptation
    • Issue: With the rapidly changing job market, men often face challenges in career transitions and adapting to new industries or roles. Although there is some focus on financial and employment improvement in the Old Ideas, there is limited emphasis on navigating career transitions, upskilling, and adapting to new job market demands. I've had a front row seat regarding this issue for the last few years as I've switched industries. 
  • Healthy Lifestyle and Nutrition
    • Issue: Maintaining a healthy lifestyle over time, including proper nutrition and physical fitness, is crucial. While physical challenges are included, there is minimal focus on nutrition education, meal planning, and long-term healthy lifestyle habits. The Old Ideas did place a high value on health and fitness, but it didn't address sustaining that for long periods of time.
  • Financial Literacy and Planning
    • Issue: Financial stability and planning for the future are significant concerns for many men. Although there is some content on financial management within the Old Ideas, the curriculum does not comprehensively cover financial literacy, investment strategies, retirement planning, and managing debt.
  • Parenting and Family Dynamics
    • Issue: Many men seek guidance on being effective fathers and managing family dynamics. The Old Ideas do not address parenting skills, family communication, or balancing parental responsibilities with personal goals.
  • Social Isolation and Loneliness
    • Issue: Social isolation and loneliness are growing problems, exacerbated by technology and busy lifestyles. While there are team-building and social bonding activities baked into the Old Ideas, the curriculum could benefit from more focus on building lasting social connections and combating loneliness.I've dabbled with solutions to fix this (ala various "tribalism" experiments), but all had fatal flaws related to busy lives.
  • Dealing with Societal Expectations
    • Issue: Modern men often struggle with societal expectations and pressures related to masculinity, success, and emotional expression. Even though they had pretty strong, clear definitions of masculinity, the Old Ideas do not explicitly address how to navigate and challenge societal norms and expectations about masculinity and success.I think the Old Ideas got masculinity right, but they did a poor job of explaining how those values fit within the broader social landscape.
  • Substance Abuse and Addiction
    • Issue: Substance abuse and addiction are significant issues that affect many men. The Old Ideas do not include education or support for dealing with substance abuse, addiction, or developing healthy coping mechanisms. This was a major oversight on my part.
  • Creative Expression
    • Issue: While the Old Ideas included various forms of personal development and skill-building, there is limited emphasis on creative expression and artistic activities, which are important for self-actualization.
  • Philosophical or Existential Exploration
    • Issue: There is a lack of activities that encourage deep philosophical or existential reflection, which can be crucial for achieving a sense of self-actualization.
  • Public Speaking or Leadership Roles
    • Issue: Although there are leadership training and rotating leadership roles, there could be more opportunities for participants to take on significant leadership roles or engage in public speaking, which can enhance esteem from others.
  • Personal Projects or Initiatives
    • Issue: While there are project assignments, more emphasis could be placed on allowing participants to pursue individual projects or initiatives that reflect their unique interests and passions, fostering a greater sense of autonomy.

Together, these holes in the Old Ideas aren't reason to scrap them. The Old Ideas are good. They've been proven to work. They make life a hell of a lot better

Originally, after identifying these gaps, I tried simply filling them in. It solved the problem, but the entire Project just didn't seem right. It took an embarrassingly long time to figure out the problem was the way the ideas were framed.

 Originally, the Project was framed as a way to fix "Nice Guys." That was fine... if you were, indeed, a "Nice Guy." 

If not, the Project was close to useless.

Eventually I stumbled upon the answer, which has been in front of me for a looooong time:

NEEDS.

Specifically, Abraham Maslow's Theory of Human Motivation (which is usually represented inaccurately as a pyramid of needs divided into five levels, which fall into two categories - deficiency needs and growth needs.) The general idea is that humans are motivated by satisfying these needs, and the more they're satisfied, the closer we get to feeling fulfilled. 

The idea is pretty old, and it's something I taught in my psych classes for a couple of decades. But it wasn't until I read Scott Barry Kaufman's book "Transend" that I had the epiphany that gave me a better frame for the Man Camp Ideas. 

In the book, Kaufman finishes the work Maslow started. He redefines the needs using an absolutely brilliant "sailboat" analogy (which I'll describe in a different post another day.) I realized I didn't need to fill in the missing gaps outlined above. I needed a new way to frame the Ideas.

So here we are. I've been working on blending Kaufman's model with the Man Camp ideas, which has been completed. In the near future, I'll hash out the New Ideas, then start documenting my self-experimentation. It'll start with what I am calling "Tier One", which are prerequisites to the Man Camp Ideas. 

Stay tuned. I'll be documenting the progress here, on Facebook (both on my personal account and in the Man Camp Group), and probably on Youtube

Stay tuned!


~Jason



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Wednesday, November 1, 2023

Getting My Shit Together: Synthesizing Self-Improvement Ideas



For the last twenty years, I've been working on many self-improvement ideas from all kinds of smart people. The biggest problem I've encountered is putting all the ideas together into an intelligible, comprehensive plan. In short, there are too many different ideas. At any given time, I'll implement a few, but forget the rest

Over the last two months, I've been tinkering with developing such a plan. The objectives of the plan are straightforward:

  1. Learn who you are.
  2. Cultivate a lifestyle with a deep sense of purpose and meaning while staying true to your authentic self.
  3. Become the best version of yourself possible.
To accomplish these Objectives, I've identified 18 Strategies that cover every significant aspect of life. The strategies are as follows:

  1. Take care of yourself.
  2. Trust in a higher purpose.
  3. Foster a growth mindset.
  4. Find passion and excitement in life's challenges.
  5. Build resiliency.
  6. Find contentment in simplicity.
  7. Promote positive communication.
  8. Value relationships.
  9. Be a person of integrity.
  10. Cultivate patience.
  11. Practice forgiveness.
  12. Be generous.
  13. Understand people.
  14. Be truthful.
  15. Respect life.
  16. Treat all individuals with respect.
  17. Show compassion.
  18. Be responsible stewards of resources.
Each of these strategies is accomplished with various Tactics, which are broken down into Rituals and Mores. Rituals are basically habits (behaviors) that are completed daily, weekly, or quarterly. Mores are ideas and beliefs that support the Rituals in accomplishing the Strategies. 

Altogether, there are about 80 different Rituals and Mores. These Rituals and Mores are separated into four different phases, each one lasting approximately three months:
  • Basic Self-Development
  • Advanced Self-Development
  • Developing Your Social Circles (also known as "Tribes")
  • Developing Your Interactions with People Outside Your Social Circles
All in all, the entire system would take about 12-15 months to complete. By the end of this timeframe, the Rituals and Mores should be internalized and automatic, which will accomplish the Strategies, which will accomplish the Objectives.

In the next post, I'll discuss the theoretical underpinnings of this program.

~Jason


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Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Unpacking Peter Attia's "Outlive": Is This The Fountain of Youth?


I just finished reading Peter Attia's excellent book "Outlive." The book was the topic of Attia's appearance on Jocko Willink's  podcast, which I recommend. I'm glad I gave this episode a listen, otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered reading the book. 

The topic of Attia's book is longevity, which is a subject I typically associate with dumbass dogma and bizarre, ritualistic practices like eating nothing but kale and organ meat, injecting themselves with the blood of children, and drinking their own piss. 

Much to my delight, Attia openly criticizes these charlatans. He begins the book by setting expectations - his advice, which is based on an honest assessment on the empirical evidence, won't allow you to live forever. Or even increase your lifespan significantly. His advice is meant to improve what he calls "healthspan", or the length of time you live a healthy life, which he defines as the time you're capable of doing (and enjoying) the things you like to do. Basically, he's making the case that living a long time is pointless if your quality of life sucks. 

His approach to improving our healthspan involves accounting for the gradual decline of aging we'll all experience, then using exercise, diet, stability, good sleep habits, and emotional health to get ourselves in a condition that will decrease the probability of developing what he refers to as the Four Horsemen - cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer, and dementia. These four diseases are the main diseases that lead to a miserable existence later in life and, eventually kill most of us.

Basically, his approach is to make the last decade of our lives worth living. Attia frames this preventative approach as "Heathcare 3.0" (where Healthcare 1.0 was medieval quackery and Healthcare 2.0 was using science to treat disease.)

This affirms many of my recent experiences as a cop. I regularly interact with a cross-section of the population, and there are stark differences in people's healthspan. I deal with 95 year old fit, spry ranchers who spend their days literally wrangling cattle. I also deal with morbidly-obese 50 year olds who can't walk up a flight of stairs without taking a break and take fifteen prescriptions every day in a feeble attempt to manage the dozen serious medical conditions they've developed because of their shitty life choices. But there's evidence that's closer to home.

My own life affirms Attia's premise. At 47, I've prioritized all of Attia's recommendations (which I'll discuss shortly.) There's nothing I cannot do today that I couldn't do decades earlier. I don't have any chronic diseases and I do not take any medication. I work and train with people half may age without "old man" accommodations. The n=1 considerations aside, his stuff works

Of course, 47 is still "young" in regards to the arc of age-related degradation. It's still pretty easy to keep up with the young bucks. Physical and mental decline has already started, but it's barely noticeable, and will remain minimal through my 50's. Things typically start declining faster through our 60's, and faster still through our 70's. By eighty, the majority of people start declining rapidly. The goal of improving healthspan outcomes is to delay that decline as long as possible.

Based only on my current age, I can expect to live to 81.8 years (via the Social Security Administration calculator.) I theoretically have 34 years remaining. Based on standard decline models, I can maintain my current lifestyle for about 12-15 years, about ten years of significantly diminished capacity, then about ten years of seriously diminished capacity.

The idea of Attia's methodology is to push that decline back to the point where that last decade is way better than the standard rate at which we decline would predict. The benefits of living a better lifestyle obviously improve our functioning in the earlier years, too. 

Attia recommends listing the activities you would like to be able to do late in life, account for the inevitable age-related decline, and work backward to determine where you should be today. 

For example, our VO2 max (the efficiency our body uses oxygen, which we colloquially call "cardio" capacity) declines about 10% per decade starting in our 30's. My current estimated VO2 max is around 46 ml/kg/min of oxygen. This should allow me to run about a 22 minute 5k. If I continued my current exercise routine, that VO2 max will decrease to about 33 ml/kg/min by my 70's. That should result in a 29 minute 5k. 

Let's say I wanted to run that 5k in 22 minutes at age 77. I'd need  VO2 max of 46 ml/kg/min at that age. Working backward, I'd need a VO2 max TODAY of about 61 ml/kg/min. If that time were my goal, I'd need to start developing my VO2 max today to get to that point. 

The same concept works for strength. Starting at about 50, we lose about 15% of our muscle mass and strength by decade. Right now, I can bench press about 225 pounds. If I maintain my same workout routine, I would only be able to lift about 160 pounds or so at age 80. If I wanted to bench 225 at age 80, I'd need to be benching about 345 today. 

The idea is to figure out what you want to be able to do late in life, then get yourself in condition today to be able to do that while accounting for the normal decline that happens with aging. For some, this might include things like being able to walk up stairs, be able to go shopping, or lift a baby (grand kids, great grand kids, etc.) Me? At age 80, I want to be able to do a 30 minute jiu jitsu roll, run a 100 miler in 30 hours, and score at least a 50 on the NTOA Fitness Test

That's probably pretty unrealistic, but it does give me concrete fitness goals for today.

The Actual Advice

Attia's advice covers five domains, which consist of exercise, diet, stability, sleep, and emotional health. As I said earlier, nothing in his recommendations will be surprising if you're an objective observer of health and fitness best practices. Here's a summary of each:

Exercise and Stability

Attia considers exercise to be the most important element. His recommendation is to do four 45 minute sessions of cardio at 60-70% of max heart rate, and one or two sessions of high-intensity exercise. He also recommends strength training (for strength, not mass) two to three times per week. Finally, he recommends doing some sort of stability training a few times per week. The stability bit was interesting. The idea is to prevent falls as we age. Apparently 25-30% of people over the age of 65 who break a hip die within a year, which was mind-blowing. Serious injury as we age basically keeps us from moving, and when we can't move, we tend to die pretty quickly. 

Attia's recommendation mirrors my own routine pretty closely, though the ratio of running and lifting ebbs and flows. I get plenty of stability work in bjj and trail running. Attia does mention injuries, which has been a minor issue the last few years (chronically-dislocated rib, injured abdominal muscle, etc.) He notes we should be cautious about the intensity of exercise as we age as injuries that take us out of training can have disastrous effects. In the Jocko podcast, he notes a 60 year old person will lose 10-12 months of strength gains with only a 10 day absence from training, which is crazy. Personally, I need to be more cautious with some of my exercise routines, especially jiu jitsu and mma-related stuff. 

Attia recommends creating a "centenarian decathlon" of 10 things we would like to do in old age. These 10 things are the skills we will "train" starting right now, which will allow us to do them when we're significantly older. I love this idea! Younger people (under age 60 or so) always fail to account for that inevitable decline and think, just because they can do something today, that they will be able to do that several decades into the future. Which, of course, doesn't happen. 

Nutrition

This is the realm where Attia really won me over. He notes almost all diet advice is shit, and this space is filled with fanatics who treat diet like a religious cult. Attia affirms my approach - if you need to gain weight, eat more. Lose weight? Eat less. Limit processed foods, especially sweets, fast food, and junk food snacks. Limit alcohol. Make sure you get about 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight per day. Be strategic about the timing of eating carbs (mornings or before exercise.) 

I usually do fairly well here. My Achilles heal are sweets and occasionally alcohol, though I consume far less of each than I did a decade ago. I played around with various forms of fasting, but Attia notes the rewards (calorie restriction and cellular health) probably don't outweigh the costs (muscle loss), especially as we age and if we follow the exercise guidelines (which also aids in cellular repair.) 

Sleep

I really like that Attia gives sleep a great deal of attention. Until about a decade ago, even the scientific community minimized the importance of sleep. Now, we have all kinds of data that sleep (and the recovery that occurs when we sleep) is absolutely critical for a healthy life (and healthy aging.) As a society, we still tend to glorify lack of sleep, which is utterly ridiculous.

Attia recommends seven to nine hours of high-quality sleep each night, and gives a slew of excellent suggestions on attaining it. When I work the day shift (6am to 6pm), I routinely get a solid seven to eight hours nightly. Night shift is still a challenge, though I'm continually experimenting (which will be a separate post in the near future.)

Emotional Health

This was an interesting chapter. In my own lifestyle design roadmap, I've always focused on mental health, not emotional health. However, I like Attia's approach as mental health is almost always predicated on emotional health. In this chapter, he gives several excellent nuggets of advice, such as work with a therapist on occasion, maintain healthy social relationships, and practice mindfulness. In the podcast, Attia discusses the book "4000 Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman, which is an excellent follow-up read to "Outlive." Burkeman expands on the ideas in this emotional health chapter.

For me personally, mental health is pretty much optimized through exercise, diet, and sleep, so shifting to an emotional health focus makes more sense. I can take care for the mindfulness bit through meditation, which I need to start doing regularly, which will probably involve re-reading "10% Happier" by Dan Harris and "Why Buddhism is True" by Robert Wright

The healthy social relationship bit is a little more of a challenge, though. Being an introvert, social interactions are mentally and emotionally draining. After interacting with people for a period of time, I need significant alone time to recharge. I love interacting with people, but it's draining. Once the "social" tank gets close to empty, I start experiencing debilitating anxiety, which makes me really irritable. The problem is my job requires a whole lotta socializing... I talk to people all day long AND many of these interactions involve people who are in crisis, emotionally-charged, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or are just lonely and super-chatty. Work drains the social tank pretty quickly. 

Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot left over for socializing with friends or family. I don't have a solution to this problem unless the friends and family are also introverts (and are okay with infrequent social interactions.) The best hacks I've discovered involve socializing in settings where we're active (namely jiu jitsu and running, which is good from a health perspective, or drinking, which is bad from a health prospective.) Introvert readers - if you have any tips, please share!

Summary

For most of the population who aren't critical consumers of health and fitness advice, this book could be life-changing. As a society, we're not healthy. And we're aging. Over the next few decades A LOT of us are going to be trapped in a miserable existence as we run out the clock on our lives. Attia's book can change that grim outlook.

For those who are already objective consumers of health and fitness advice, this book will affirm what you already know, and probably give you a plethora of actionable strategies that will further improve your lifestyle outcomes. You're probably already living a pretty healthy lifestyle, but this book will give you a framework for continuing that lifestyle when things really start to decline.

Either way, this is one of the few books I'd place in the "must read" category. Pick it up. Read it. Let me know what you think.


~Jason


***

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Building Brotherhood Part One: The Trials and Tribulations of Forming a Gang

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"This shit wold be way easier if the world would just hurry up and fall apart."

That was the thought that jumped into my thoughts as I was rummaging through hand-written scribbles from a few years back. ChatGPT wasn't being especially helpful in synthesizing the thirty-eight divergent ideas I fed it. The best idea my AI sidekick could generate was a hybrid between Jim Jones' People's Temple Agricultural Project (of "Drink the Kool-aid" fame) and Scientology. 

FML. 

You see, for the last fifteen years or so, I've been fascinated with the social dynamics of self-improvement. Specifically, how do groups positively influence people's journey to self-improvement. 

Part of the fascination has been fueled by evidence... I have a whole lotta anecdotal (and empirical) evidence that surrounding yourself with hard-working, motivated people super-charges your own self-improvement. The friendly competition and accountability is helpful, too.

Another part of the fascination is fueled by a strong desire for authentic connection with others, and the sense of belonging to a group of like-minded folks. Our modern world is a lonely, isolated place. Since the dawn of time (for humans, anyway), we've relied on a tribe of other people to survive. "Lone wolves" didn't last long in the harsh, unforgiving wilds of our primal past. Given each of us is the result of a long, unbroken chain of social animals, tribalism is etched into our DNA. Hell, the entire field of "social psychology" is dedicated to studying our innate social acumen. 

Anyway, this fascination with the social dynamics of self-improvement have led to the formation of a fairly long series of intentional and unintentional "tribes" I've either started or became a part of. Some have been centered around a particular activity, like the Runner's World Barefoot Running Forum, The Barefoot Runner's Society, BRU, The Hobby Joggas, BRUCrew, Fight Club, and El Diablo Combatives. Others have been centered around ideas, like Families on the Road and Cotton Underwear Nougat Troupe. Still others were specific to self-improvement, including Man Camp and The Lab. Some were really successful. Some weren't. 

 Each idea provided some insight on what works and what doesn't work; each idea has been a step towards solving a riddle... a riddle that would be wayyyy easier to solve if we had some external force that would force us to have to need each other. 

Like the apocalypse. 

But alas, we have to work with the world we have, not the world we want.

I. The Goal

The ultimate goal is to surround myself with a "gang" other men who have a strong desire to improve themselves in a variety of fun, exciting, and adventurous ways, have a strong sense of duty to provide and protect their families and communities, and also crave the camaraderie and brotherhood of other men who are striving for the same. Every member would bring their own contributions to the group by teaching what they know and learning what they don't. The men would set goals and hold each other accountable for accomplishing those goals. My specific contribution would be teaching a lot of the stuff that I've written about in this blog and others, like sleep and heath, physical fitness and diet, ethics and values, social skills, sex and romantic relationships, and personal growth. Basically, can teach men how to be better at being men. 

The most successful incarnation of this idea is the Man Camp, which this blog (and its grittier, more offensive predecessor), was really good. But it had two fatal flaws. First, it was mostly online. Second, it was designed to solve a specific problem (fixing "Nice Guys"), not to develop a particular type of man to be a better version of themselves. I'll elaborate on this point more, later.

It's worth noting, for readers who are unfamiliar with my ideas, that the idea of a men's only group is intentional and based on the science of gender in general and evolutionary psychology and biology in particular. The exact explanation of the rationale goes beyond the scope of this post, but if you really want to understand why we exclude women, you can read this post:

The Science and Logic Behind Our Philosophy: A Discussion on Feminism, Masculinity, and the Patriarchy

My hypothetical Gang of Men is still solving a problem, but it's a far more generalized problem than the Nice Guy issue.

II. The Problem We're Solving

Simply put, our modern society makes men soft, and modern society keeps us isolated. This isn't some conspiratorial plot hatched by evil masterminds in an underground lair; it's merely the natural cause and effect of progress and technology. We know this because we've seen this story before. Many, many times before.

Human history is cyclical. If we want to predict the future, all we have to do is look at the past. And any objective study of the past strongly suggests we're currently just creeping past the apex in our current cycle. It looks something like this:

Every society in recorded history prior to the modern day, and those before recorded history, have followed the same rise -> peak -> collapse pattern. EVERY one. And every one of those societies believed they would be the exception to that rule. They believed they would be too good to fail. And they were wrong. 

The cycle works like this: 

1. Motivated, hard-working people bust their asses to improve their society, usually through development and technological innovation. Early in our history, this involved inventions like the harnessing of fire, the smelting of bronze, and the wheel. In more modern times, this has included cell phones, traction control, and Door Dash. 

2. As the standard of living increases and life gets easier, more and more humans get lazy. And complacent. As the struggle to survive wanes, we start occupying our time with other pursuits and forget all the skills that we needed to survive before our society reached its apex. In other words, we get soft. We also start engaging in behaviors that sabotage our society by destroying the social fabric that holds the society together. Specifically, we see a precipitous decline in moral values, political corruption, automation of basic tasks, economic instability caused by greed, and a loss of a sense of identity. We tend to start believing in ideologies that divide us in ways that assure we start viewing our fellow community members as enemies, which threatens to tear our society apart.

3. An event or a confluence of events create a tipping point where the strained society snaps because the society has lost the ability to work together to overcome adversity. The society endures a rapid decline in the standard of living. This rapid decline occurs because too many people within the society have lost the skills and resiliency needed to survive real hardships. This is typically a time of great pain and suffering, death and destruction. Chaos and war are common. I like to call this process "The Voiding" because it's as if all of our progress is simply voided out. SOME people in the society do just fine; for various reasons they maintained the skills and resiliency needed to survive. These survivors either band together to form functional, successful communities OR become what amounts to despots and warlords. 

4. Over time, those who organized as successful communities overcome the terror of the despots and start building a new society. And the cycle begins anew.


I believe we're currently past the apex, which probably happened around the late 90's up to 9/11. Since that time, our society has been rapidly ripping itself apart. For me, the test to determine where we are in that cycle of human history was COVID. It was a major issue; to date about 7 million people have died from the disease. The economic impact has been calculated to about a 4% decrease in global GDP... which is about as bad as The Great Depression. The key, though, isn't the degree of the pandemic. It's our response to the pandemic. 

If we had a functional society, humanity would have come together to face the problem. That clearly did not happen. In fact, I'd bet a large sum of money that every person who reads this had a spike in their blood pressure as soon as I mentioned COVID because it triggered some emotional response that is caused by the divisions within our society. We're past the tipping point; we're in The Voiding.

The problem is the last few decades have made men weak and isolated, which has destroyed our ability to be resilient in the face of adversity. Take the average American man today and plop him out in the wilderness with nothing. He would be dead within three days, assuming it wasn't too cold or too hot.

I won't go into detail here about all of the qualities of modern American men that make them weak as fuck, because men who get it, get it. Men who don't, get pissy and defensive. I'm not interested in speaking to the "pissy and defensive" men; they're not the men who have that drive to provide, protect, and really put in the hard work to become the best version of themselves. They're not the men I want in my Gang.

Before I get into the specifics, I have to discuss what went wrong with the previous groups I've associated with over the years.

III. The Issues with the Previous Social Groups

Some of these groups were successful, especially for their intended purpose. Others were abysmal failures. But none really accomplished my overall goal of achieving my "Utopia" Gang. Here's a brief assessment of the groups, what went right, and what went wrong.

  • The Barefoot Running-Related Groups: These groups were specific to the niche of barefoot running. They were great for learning and teaching about barefoot running, and even running in general. They were kinda good for learning about lifestyle stuff, like minimalist living. Ultimately, though, the limited topical specialization limited their usefulness for personal growth. And, quite honestly, I eventually got tired of the barefoot running fanatics and snake oil salespeople who preyed on the fanatics.
  • The Hobby Joggas: This was my social running group from Michigan. They were (and still are) awesome, as a training group who pushed each other, as a collection of friends who helped each other run ultramarathons, and as a fun social group to hang out with wen we weren't running. The biggest problem? They were specific to West Michigan. Once I moved, I lost them.
  • BRUCrew: This was a short-lived in-person and online group set up for functional fitness workouts and for "social challenges." The idea was to help members get fit and do social interactions that scared us, which would help us overcome social anxiety and introversion. It actually worked well (especially the online version), but lost steam as I got distracted with other projects.
  • Fight Club: This was my mma gym in San Diego where I learned to fight. I was merely a student here, though I did progress into a bit of a leadership role eventually. I loved Fight Club; my coaches and teammates were awesome folks who, for the first time in my life, gave me a feeling like I wasn't an outsider. These were my people. Even though I've been gone for almost five years, I still train under my coaches. The problem with Fight Club is the same problem as The Hobby Joggas... once I moved, I lost them.
  • Man Camp: Man Camp was the first real "Gang of Men" I intentionally started. Originally, it existed as a Facebook group and a blog. Eventually, I re-wrote the original blog (this blog you're reading right now) to make it a little less offense. Man Camp was based on the idea of fixing guys who fit the mold of Nice Guys, and was intended to fix bad, sexless relationships and teach men about the nature of women. One of my academic backgrounds was the psychology of sex and gender, so this is an area of relative expertise. For the right kinds of men, this group was extremely successful. It had two problems, though - it was online-only and it was pretty limited to fixing sex and relationship issues. Its mission limited its usefulness to help men get better at being men outside of that narrow focus. It did bring together a group of the kind of men I want in my corner. Several of this group's members will likely play a role in any new "Gang of Men' project that I develop.
  • Cotton Underwear Nougat Troupe: This was another kinda goofy short-lived online project that was supposed to bring men and women together to talk about sex and relationship issues. It ultimately failed because too many of the women who participated were new age hippies who were really life coaching (which is a bullshit industry filled with amoral grifters) and a too many men who were the "Nice Guys" I had tried to fix with Man Camp... but were militantly opposed to changing. The lone bright spot from this group came from having the opportunity for me to convince a... more mature... female friend to take the advice I gave in this tuber-controversial blog post to find a genuinely good man, for whom she eventually married.
  • El Diablo Combatives: This was my jiu jitsu and mma gym in Colorado. It was an attempt to re-create Fight Club. It ultimately failed because being a gym owner sucked. Aside from being bad at running the gym, I also wasn't willing to lower the standards of the students we would accept to pay the bills. It did, however, result in...
  • The Lab: The Lab was a bit of a social engineering project that developed because I had some folks at my gym who are really awesome people who shared a lot of my goofy Utopia ideas. We had a Facebook group and a blog, but we also met a few times in-person. The general idea as the creation of a Tribe of like-minded people who would help each other grow and provide support for each other. The idea was best summarized in this blog post here on this blog. Ultimately, I made three mistakes. First, the Lab was part of my gym, which was in the process of failing. Don't build castles in swamps. Second, the project was really ambitious, and none of the key players had the time or resources to get the project off the ground. Making things overly complex is both a blessing and a curse... in this case it was more of the latter. Third, I experiment too much to lead a project that requires a lot of focus. I like continuously tweaking my ideas, which makes it really difficult to build big projects from start to finish. The confluence of those three factors spelled doom for the project, though I still dream of making it happen one of these days.

So that's a summary of the social groups I've been a part of over the years. I threw all of these ideas into a giant Vitamix, hit the puree button, and got...

IV. The New Gang 

Earlier, I stated my explicit goal:

The ultimate goal is to surround myself with a "gang" other men who have a strong desire to improve themselves in a variety of fun, exciting, adventurous ways, have a strong sense of duty to provide and protect their families and communities, and also crave the camaraderie and brotherhood of other men who are striving for the same.

Basically, I'm working to create an updated version of "Man Camp" with all the lessons from my other experiences AND with an explicit focus on doing cool shit. Our world isn't especially friendly to masculinity these days, and there's a better than average chance we're going to need masculine men if my predictions about The Voiding are in any way accurate. We have real need for men to have the opportunity to learn how to be better men, and have the opportunity to prove themselves to other men they respect. 

Like I stated in the original quote at the beginning of this post, this process would be A LOT easier if our world were clearly falling apart. If we were cold, starving, and living in constant fear, it would be wayyy easier to organize a gang. But we're not there. Yet. I might be totally wrong about my dire prediction about The Voiding. But I'd rather start building a gang today instead of waiting for the grocery shelves to empty and the lights go out. 

Anyway, for those of you who enjoy reading, this idea isn't mine. It's merely a synthesis of a lot of other ideas. The ideas that form the crux of my proposed Gang of Men come from these folks and their works:

  • Jack Donovan ("The Way of Men" and "Becoming a Barbarian"), 
  • Jocko Willinck ("Extreme Ownership"), 
  • Sebastian Junger ("Tribe"), 
  • Mark Manson ("The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck"), 
  • Rollo Tomassi ("The Rational Male"), 
  • Leil Lowndes )"How to Talk to Anybody")
  • Tucker Max and Jeffrey Miller ("What Women Want"), 
  • Sam Sheridan ("The Fighter's Heart), 
  • Dave Grossman ("On Killing" and "On Combat"), and 
  • Gavin de Becker ("The Gift of Fear".)  

... among others. There are a lot of people smarter than me who have a lot of phenomenal ideas about the nature of masculinity, how society is vilifying those of us who crave what our grandfathers enjoyed, and long to  get back to our primal roots where men and brotherhood were one in the same.

For the last six months, I've been toiling away behind the scenes, playing with ideas and working out logistics. I've built a complex, intricate plan, then distilled it down to its simplest elements. Build more complexity, then do more distilling. Five or six such cycles later, I finally have a plan for the Gang of Men. 

To really be effective, I needed to add some elements. The most important aspect was defining the exact type of man the group is designed for, which are men who love doing "guy shit", long for brotherhood, have a strong desire to provide and protect for those they love, and have strong ethics. The type of men I'm looking for are the men who look around at other men today and feel a sense of disgust at their weakness. Or, as was the case for myself not too many years ago, you feel that disgust when you look in the mirror.

The group also needed an identity, which included a unique name. The group needed a clear focus. The group also needed a clearly defined set of values and an accompanying ethical code. The group also needed an aspect of gamification and other creative elements to leverage the psychology of motivation and play. There were other elements that had to be added, which I'll detail in future posts.

I also needed to eliminate some elements. Most importantly, I needed to be careful to exclude the kind of men we don't want. As I learned from the Man Camp experiment, not every man wants to improve, not every man wants to make a commitment to a group, and not every man understands the concept of honor. I also needed to eliminate the structural complexity, especially in the beginning. Finally, I needed to eliminate the hyper focus on relationships. While the new Gang of Men will feature a lot of my teaching on improving relationships, understanding women, becoming more attractive, and other such topics, the main focus is helping each other get better at being men.

I'll be sharing the details in future posts in the very near future, but here's a preview for The Valorians.

 

We are The Valorians, a brotherhood of modern men forged in the fires of adversity, bound together by a shared commitment to excellence, and driven by an unrelenting hunger for success. Our mission is simple yet profound: to elevate men to their highest potential, to imbue them with a sense of purpose and direction, and to equip them with the tools and skills necessary to overcome any obstacle and conquer any challenge.

We stand for strength, courage, honor, and mastery, and we believe that these virtues are the keys to unlocking the true potential of every man. We reject the notion that modern men are weak, passive, or unfulfilled, and we refuse to accept mediocrity as the status quo. Instead, we choose to embrace the challenges of life head-on, to push ourselves beyond our limits, and to forge a new path that leads to greatness.

We are the embodiment of the warrior spirit, the guardians of tradition, and the pioneers of a new era of excellence among men. We are The Valorians, and we are dedicated to empowering men to reach new heights of success, fulfillment, and happiness. Join us on this journey, and together we will transform yourself and you into the man you are destined to become.

 

"Valorians" was chosen because valor is the defining characteristic of the men of this new Gang. "Valor" means displaying courage in the face of danger. This is a literal virtue this new Gang will work to instill, but it's also something we will instill in a more figurative sense. Embarking on a journey of self-improvement AND doing so in the presence of other men is scary shit and requires valor. Ergo the name. 

Anyway, I'll be sharing more in the near future. If the idea resonates with you, stay tuned.

 

~Jason

 

***




Saturday, October 2, 2021

COVID Adventures

 


Welp, both Shelly and I have tested positive for the 'rona. Given the pandemic has spawned so much goofy division among the public, it seems like a fun topic to discuss. There's a whole lotta irrationality and emotion tied to the pandemic. As such, I've gone to great lengths to base my own decisions based on logic and reason coupled with respect for others' choices and simply being a good citizen. And a decent human being.

Back Story

This is probably the second time we've had it. Back in May of 2020, we both got sick for about eight or nine days with almost the exact same symptoms we're having now, which are completely unlike any other illness either of us had. We were both tested at the time (with that "back of the brain" test), and the results were negative. But we have strong reasons to believe the tests were botched. The tester only swabbed our sinus cavity for about two seconds instead of the required fifteen, and the test validity at the time was relatively low. 

Anyway, that sucked. It was the worst illness I've ever had in terms of severity... a solid "8" on a scale of 10. I'm in excellent health, and it seriously kicked my ass. The symptoms came in reliable waves - around 9-11 am, 3-5 pm, and 10-12 pm. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, shortness of breath, coughing, low-grade fever, and chills. Occasional sneezing and runny nose. Occasional gastrointestinal distress. In between those waves, I had a cough and slight difficulty breathing. The symptoms were bad for about six days, then gradually subsided. After about eight or nine days, I felt pretty "normal."

I was teaching at the time, and this came at the end of the school year. Our school had been completely closed for about two months at that point. There were still widespread shut-downs, shortages of pretty much everything, and mask-wearing and voluntary social distancing was almost universal. Almost all people in our rural town were fairly cautious and some degree of fear was pretty universal. We re-opened our bjj gym shortly after we recovered, and pretty much went about our lives normally. We masked up in stores, but that was the extent of our personal COVID mitigation efforts.

School resumed in the fall on a heavily modified in-class and at-home hybrid schedule. Shortly after the year began when outbreaks occurred, masks were mandated. We had a fairly aggressive quarantine procedure, which resulted in me being quarantined three separate times. If we were exposed, we'd be quarantined, then tested. Each test came back negative, but I was out of the classroom for several weeks.

As teachers, we also had to deal with the extremes - parents and students who were irrationally paranoid about the virus, and parents and students who were in complete denial that it was a public health concern. I saw a whole lotta responsible citizenship and basic human decency fly out the window. And, of course, us teachers were often blamed for shit completely out of our control. The entire year really sucked; this played a significant role in my decision to leave the profession. 

Anyway, we were offered the vaccine early in the roll-out. Shelly in the first round because of her position in law enforcement, and me in the second round because I was a teacher. I'm a science geek, and had been sort of following the development of mRNA vaccines over the years. I understood the theory, which invalidates most of the dumb rumors people were spreading about the dangers. The school also modified their policy - if we were vaccinated and exposed, we'd only have to quarantine if we tested positive or started developing symptoms. Getting the vaccine would allow me to keep teaching, and it would help keep my jiu jitsu teammates safer. It was an easy decision. 

After the first shot, I had mild fatigue for eight hours. After the second shot, I didn't experience any symptoms. 

After getting vaccinated, we stopped wearing masks in all but healthcare settings (out of concern for the high-risk) or at businesses that absolutely required them (out of respect for fellow business owners.) I have a weird hearing-related issue (auditory processing disorder) that kinda requires me to read lips when there's a lot of background noise, so masks are a HUGE pain in the ass in social situations or noisy environments. We would social distance with people wearing masks out of respect, but otherwise pretty much went back to normal pre-pandemic behaviors.

The Considerations

All three of our kids attend public schools, which didn't have any significant COVID mitigation measures this year (they're now adding a few, like before school temperature checks.) Shelly and I both work with the public. And, of course, we still spend our free time rasslin' around in an enclosed space. We shop at Walmart and another grocery store weekly, we regularly dine in restaurants, and we occasionally travel. Needless to say, we're exposed to a lot of potential transmission vectors. 

Our entire family is active, healthy, don't have any preexisting conditions known to cause complications with COVID, and we don't interact with high-risk people other than the occasional people we encounter on the job. We've probably had COVID before, and our vaccines should still impart about 65% efficacy for prevention of transmission, and data suggests the vaccine dramatically limits the severity of the symptoms and potential for death. Needless to say, we don't really care about the danger of COVID to our family.

My biggest concern about COVID was the potential of missing work, which I despise. Testing positive would result in a ten day mandatory quarantine. I work as part of a team, and my employer is already critically short-staffed. If I'm out, the rest of the team has to pick up my slack. I hate that.

The Current Bout with 'Rona

Shelly was the first to show symptoms, which she assumed was a sinus infection. After two days, she went to the doctor to get tested out of precaution. She tested positive. Worried that I, too, might have caught it, I tried to limit my interactions with others as much as possible, especially with the few people I know who are not vaccinated or haven't contracted COVID yet. Even though I was asymptomatic and, due to the vaccine, only had about a 35% chance of contracting it, I didn't want to take the risk.

 I wasn't showing any symptoms until a few days later when I developed an occasional very mild cough one evening. Out of an abundance of caution, I went to the doc and got tested. The rapid test was negative. They did a PCR test, which was more accurate, but wouldn't get the results for about 24 hours. When I returned home, I took another rapid test (I had a few lying around), which was also negative. Even though I had those two negative tests, I still did my best to avoid close contact with others.

The next afternoon, I got the call from the doc; I tested positive. Aside from the occasional slight cough, I was still asymptomatic. Later that night, I started developing some shortness of breath, a low grade fever, a mild headache, and more coughing. Still the symptoms were a "1" on a scale of ten. I left work immediately and started what's going to be a painfully-long quarantine.

Beginning the next morning, I started developing the exact same symptoms on the exact same time schedule I had in May of last year - significant fatigue, shortness of breath, coughing, low-grade fever, and chills. Occasional sneezing and runny nose. Occasional gastrointestinal distress. In between those waves, I have a cough and slight difficulty breathing. And some sneezing (that's new.) And I mostly lost my sense of smell this time, which is weird as hell. The severity, though, was significantly less than the bout last May. I'd call it a "4" on a scale of 10, with one bout two nights ago being a "6". 

The last 24 hours have been better; the symptoms already seem to be lessening in severity. The worst part is the fatigue, which just makes me really lazy for a couple hours. If I've experienced the worst of it, this was WAY better than the last experience. I could take a turn for the worse, of course, but the previous illness had a pretty linear progression. Should I end up dying of COVID in a few weeks, disregard this entire post. ;-)

Regardless, it's abundantly clear this bout of COVID is way less severe than the previous alleged bout in May of 2020. If COVID ends up being a regular seasonal illness that could be lessened with a yearly vaccine, I could handle this. Without the mandatory ten day quarantine, of course.

The Take-Aways

As it stands right now, today, this experience has confirmed a lot of my assumptions I've made since the pandemic started and progressed. Here are my thoughts.

Are vaccines a good thing?

Absolutely. This bout of COVID is way less severe than the previous bout, which could be a function of it being the second infection, could be the result of the vaccine, or both. The data suggests it did play a positive role. I'd totally get the vaccine again in the future simply because it made the illness way less severe. I was never really concerned about dying from OVID, but those who are high risk would clearly get that benefit.

I don't think they should be government-mandated, but I also think more parents should let their children touch hot stoves. Employer mandates are a little trickier; I'm generally a proponent of allowing private enterprises as much freedom as possible... including what they require of their employees. 

As far as the various conspiracy theories about the vaccines, the virus, or the motivation for various public health mandates, I think they're stupid. But I think pretty much all conspiracy theories are stupid. 

What about masks?

I'm not a mask-Nazi one way or the other mostly because the totality of the data only suggests a very minor overall positive effect. When weighed against the societal social cost of everyone wearing masks (psychological deindividuation) and my own personal problem with masks and communication, my stance is do what you want. If you're high risk, wearing a mask is a good idea. If you're really fearful, wear a mask. If you own a business and you're in either of those categories, go ahead and require masks in your business

Me personally? I'm still only wearing a mask in heathcare settings, businesses that require it, and when interacting with people who ask me to wear a mask. Seems like the decent thing to do.

What should we do About Schools?

Schools are a tricky issue. Until we can get the pandemic under control to the point where we stop having surges that overwhelm hospitals, I propose every school district puts the issue to a vote. Each parent with students in the district and each person who works in the school district in a capacity that interacts with students gets a vote. Students o18 or older get their own vote. Democratically decide what, if any, mitigation efforts districts will use, then mandate that. 

If parents want more or less cautious mitigation efforts, give them an online-only option. Many states already have online-only alternative schools, so this won't be difficult in most areas of the US.

Should we fear COVID?

Most of us? No. We now know enough about the virus, its effects, its complications, and its mortality rate to make informed decisions. And we're quickly developing more and more effective treatments. This round of 'rona is way better than the last round, to the point where it's merely like an annoyingly-bad cold. With vaccines, people have the ability to make this something we shouldn't fear. If we opt out of vaccination, we know the risks. Again, this comes from a "Yeah, go ahead and touch that stove" perspective. YMMV.

There are still some people who should absolutely be afraid of COVID, because a lot of people are still dying. Usually because of old age, obesity, or preexisting conditions. Even if they get vaccinated. This is why I still wear a mask in some situations... doing otherwise just seems like a real asshole move.

Conclusion

It's been a hell of twenty or so months. Regardless of our personal thoughts and feelings on the pandemic, it's disrupted our lives like nothing else most of us have ever experienced. Personally, aside from the two illnesses, it's forced us to close our jiu jitsu gym and led me to leave the teaching profession (but to a profession I've absolutely loving... so this one's not a bad thing.) But it hasn't really been too bad.

For wider society? Unfortunately, it's been far worse. About 700,000 are dead. Many more have experienced lasting long-term effects. People have a lot of totally irrational thoughts on the pandemic, usually fueled by emotion, and that emotion is slowly ripping our society apart. Hopefully accounts like this help some develop a degree of rational clarity to the pandemic, and help people start using a little more empathy and compassion with each other.

 Got any questions? Feel free to post them in the comments section; I'll answer them ASAP.

 ~Jason

 

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