Sunday, March 22, 2020

Becoming the Best Man You Can Be: Step One - Finding Your Life Purpose

One of the most important steps to becoming the best version of yourself involves finding your life purpose. Most men don’t really have much of a life purpose. Seth Godin summed this up nicely in his excellent book “Linchpin”:

“System we grew up with: Do your job. Show up. Work hard. Listen to the boss. Stick it out. Be part of the system. You’ll be rewarded. This is a scam.”

Or, put another way:




We waste our lives chasing things that don’t matter. And we pay the price. Based on my life experiences as a teacher and running a men’s group, I hypothesize most minor (or maybe even major) mental illnesses are directly related to men not having a life purpose.

Or, they HAVE a purpose, but that purpose is focused on a single woman (or women, if they’re not presently in a relationship.) It’s a bit of a paradox, but as I explained in this post (which is a must-read for anyone who wants to really understand women), this sets up a recipe for relationship disasters. Women do not want to be placed on pedestals and worshiped! Or at least MOST of the time; we all like to be pampered on occasion.

Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend following Mark Manson’s advice in this article:


Manson is the author of one of the books I recommend for all Man Camp members: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck. Manson’s “Purpose” post asks seven questions:

  1. What’s your favorite flavor of shit sandwich and does it come with an olive?
  2. What is true about you today that would make your 8-year-old self cry?
  3. What makes you forget to eat and poop?
  4. How can you better embarrass yourself?
  5. How are you going to save the world?
  6. Gun to your head, if you had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you go and what would you do?
  7. If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?

The point of clearly defining a purpose is to give you a direction. As we work through these steps to becoming a better man, this life purpose will provide a framework for all future plans for self-improvement. 

So get to work. Answer these seven questions, then get out a note pad and start brainstorming ideas!
CORONAVIRUS Pandemic Update - While the pandemic is unfolding as a major disaster, there is a silver lining. For men who have trouble finding their purpose, here's an easy one- become a leader through this pandemic. That might be a leader in your community, a leader in your workplace, a leader in your social group, or even a leader in your family. Rise to the occasion. Take charge. make decisions. Keep everyone calm and sane.

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