I spend a ton of time writing posts geared towards men with the goal of educating them about women. Specifically, the posts are mostly geared towards ineffective, weak, passive males. I've rarely addressed issues women have with men, though. Most women I've encountered will claim they understand men, and will also claim men are simple.
We are, but not quite as simple as most women assume. This'll help ya out, ladies.
What Do Men Want?
When it comes to women, most men generally want two things:
- Unconditional love.
The first one is pretty simple. Due to our persistent flow of testosterone, dudes are perpetually horny (as opposed to women with a libido that fluctuates with their menstrual cycle.) Testosterone decreases as we age, but even old men still like a little action on occasion. Thanks to evolution, men have the capacity to have lots of sex with lots of women (with the goal of producing babies.) This is perfect for the highest value males; they actually fulfill that evolutionary role. It's not so cool for lower value males simply due to the math. The key- the highest value guys produce more kids. That keeps our species genetically healthy.
When it comes to guys' sexual preferences, one general rule applies:
Men will always chase the most attractive female they believe they can land.
So what constitutes "most attractive"? We pretty much look for indicators of fertility, which includes things like youthfulness, facial symmetry, clear skin, shiny hair, a waist-to-hip ratio of about .7, etc. This is the reason the cosmetics industry exists - it camouflages women's real appearance so they look like they're more attractive (by looking for fertile.) It's important to note this is biologically-driven and occurs even when dudes don't want to have babies with the woman. It's also important to note men may (and often) look for sex without any desire for commitment.
This reality of procreation is the basis for the idea that women reach their peak sexual market value (which determines how much male attention they get) at around 23-24. After that point, women's sexual market value starts decreasing. This explains why divorced men usually hook up with younger women instead of women their own age. By that point in a man's life (mid-thirties), his value is close to peaking and can attract the women he couldn't when he was 23-24. Many of the posts here on this blog explain these ideas in much greater detail.
The second item, unconditional love, is a little bit trickier. I've yet to meet a woman who really understands this about men. When dudes want to settle down in a long-term relationship, start a family, and all the other trappings of Relationshipville, he's looking for a woman that will do a few things for him.
- He's looking for a woman who will give him regular, enthusiastic sex. This one is self-explanatory. Interestingly, few men seem to understand THEY are the responsible party for getting this advertising sex. Fixing that is one of our Man Camp goals. You're welcome, ladies. ;-)
- He's looking for a woman who will respect him and admire him for the sacrifices he's making for her (and their family.) This one is pretty self-explanatory, too, but almost all women fail. They sometimes develop a "he's lucky to have me" attitude, which is the root of the "Ray Romano bumbling husband and father" stereotype.
- He's looking for a woman who will allow him to stop having to qualify for her love. Women are more or less born with the tools they need to attract men for a long-term relationship (i.e. - physical appearance.) Men are different. Men have to make themselves better. Not only do they have to stay attractive (physical fitness), but they also have to bust their ass moving up the socioeconomic status ladder. And it's exhausting. Men want to relax. This is a major problem for most guys because they need to continually qualify for a woman's love even after the "I do's", but that's another post for another day.
So there you have it: Men explained.